


@SpideyStark

by paulroylennon



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Pepper Potts, Fluff and Crack, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Precious Peter Parker, Social Media, Twitter, alternate universe - whatever the heck i want, spider-man deserves twitter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2020-08-11 01:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20145661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paulroylennon/pseuds/paulroylennon
Summary: “Peter, look me in the eye and repeat after me: “I will not, under any circumstances, make a twitter account for Spider-Man.”” She said through gritted teeth.“I’m sorry Pepper, but I must not tell lies.”Tony and Peter are Father and Son, but when a viral video paints them in a very different light Peter finds himself facing his most exciting challenge: Twitter.





	1. Daddy Kink? That is Not On Brand Guys.

** BuzzFeed| @BuzzFeed☑️**

So, Spider-Man and Iron Man might be… a thing? And it might be… questionable? [_**Link to full article** _](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)

* * *

Another day another scandal, but this time it’s of the superhuman variety!

The Avengers have never been considered ‘Boring’, hard to be boring when you’re a Boy Band comprised of a mint condition vintage war hero, a Nordic God of Fabio proportions and the most kick-ass red head since Walker Texas ranger.

Safe to say they are no stranger to the world's press, from war mongering and espionage to property damage and loss of civilian life.

This time it's everyone’s favourite Man in a Can that could be in a spot of bother after a minor altercation in Queens earlier today. Iron Man was spotted swooping in to give Spider-Man a helping hand against some gangland act that had our Arachnid friend a little out of his depth.

Civilian on-lookers captured the moment Spider-man suffered an unexplained malfunction of his webbing system mid swing over 40 stories about the ground. **(Side note: How does that even work? How can he run out? Does that stuff… Come out of him??)**

For a gut wrenching moment, it looks like it could be the end of our friendly neighbourhood spider guy until Iron Man abandons his own fire fight to dive after the falling hero, catching the younger man by the ankle before swinging him up into the most super bridal carry we have ever seen.

Now, here’s where things get a little confusing, we see Iron Man touch down on solid ground, setting Spider-man on his feet before retracting his suits faceplate and pulling his fellow hero into a bone crushing hug.

“Jesus, Kid, you’re gunna give me a heart attack! Seriously, are you okay? Tell my all those cute little fingers and toes are accounted for?” Tony Stark can be heard saying, cupping his hands around the masked heroes face.

“I’m okay! Wow, that was kind of scary! Nice catch old man.”

“Old man? Really? Don’t expect Daddy to catch you next time with those manners.”

“Bold of you to assume there will be a next time.” Spider-Man replies cheekily before the video ends, leaving us – and all of twitter it would seem – _shook_.

The dialogue between the two supers is leaving the world divided. On one hand we have those absolutely living for this coupling:

** 5 feet apart | @StarkNaked**

Okay but… Tony referring to himself as Daddy is a level of self-awareness that I didn’t know he possessed **#Spideystark**

** Lillieluv | @LuvNYC**

My face after seeing Iron Man cup Spider-Man’s face in his hands** #Spideystark**

And those… not living:

** Georgia | @SweetGeorgia**

Lets just keep in mind that we don’t know how old Spider-Man is, but I get a seriously young vibe from him and Tony Stark

is most likely taking advantage of a literal child. **#antispideystark**

** Judas no | @doctorwhy**

Y’all nasty **#antispideystark**

Spider-Man's identity is shrouded in mystery so not much is known about the quippy hero, but, as many twitter users have pointed out _– he sounds young_, he has an almost childlike quality to him that has many people concerned about his connection with the infamous playboy Tony Stark.

There’s been no word from Tony Stark or his team at Stark Industries, specifically there's been radio silence from SI’s CEO Pepper Potts, who is rumoured to be newly engaged to her superhero ex-boss Tony Stark, what does she think about her Man trading her in for a younger model?

* * *

Pepper slammed the laptop closed with a frustrated sigh before Tony and Peter could read any more of the article.

“Why is it, that you two find it impossible to give me and our PR team a break?” She asked through gritted teeth, pinching the bridge of her nose to sooth her growing headache.

“Hey, I resent that! I didn’t do anything!” Peter whined from his seat across the conference table.

“And can I really be blamed for being a concerned parent? I watched him fall out of the sky Pep, I wasn’t thinking about how horny the internet is!” Tony cut in, doing his best impression of a Mother in crisis.

“Oh no, you can’t play innocent with me, either of you.” Pepper replied, shaking her head.

“We didn’t plan this Pep! You think I want people to think I’m molesting Spider-Man, making him call me Daddy?”

“Oh God, that’s so gross Dad, don’t ever utter that sentence again.” Peter groaned in disgust; Tony shuddered in agreement.

“I know you didn’t plan it, but you’ve both gotten complacent. Taking your helmet off mid fight, Tony!? Surrounded by gawking people with cell phones! Running out of web fluid Peter? Why did you engage if you were running low? This was all so avoidable, yet here we are.”

Tony and Peter remained silent, looking down, shame faced.

“Now, we need to deal with this… Situation.”

“Why would we deal with? We deal with it by not dealing with it. It’s just a titillating tabloid story Pep, give it a week and some kid on YouTube will say a racial slur and we’ll be in the clear.” Tony replied dismissively. Pepper scoffed, unamused by her partners flippant demeanour.

“Tony, this isn’t like when you told TMZ that you were running for president! People think that you’re abusing a minor!” She stressed.

“You told TMZ you were running for president?” Peter whispered, mildly impressed.

“Yeah, it was a slow news week, thought I’d spice things up.”

“This is Serious!” Pepper exclaimed, tempted to tear her hair out in frustration.

“What’s really serious is that people think I have a Daddy Kink, it’s seriously off brand for a friendly neighbourhood spider-man.” The teen said, face clearly reflecting his disgust.

“OKAY! I don’t wanna hear the words ‘Daddy Kink’ leave your mouth ever again. You know what, the word ‘Kink’ is banned full stop. For you, not for me. Obviously.” Tony cut in with a grimace.

“Stop Kink shaming me.” Peter replied with a smirk. Tony let out a long-suffering sigh, rolling his eyes so aggressively he was surprised they didn’t just fall out of his skull all together.

“Kink shaming is my kink.” He deadpanned.

“I knew it! I knew You were paying attention to my vine compilations.” Peter cried, laughing giddily.

“Stop trying to change the subject, both of you.”

“What do you want me to do Pepper? A press conference? I thought we both agreed that me and press conferences are not a great combo.”

“I don’t want _you_ to do anything, Tony.” She said pointedly, her eyes shifting to Peter. Her gaze softened as she took in the teenagers warry face. Tony looked between his Son and his Fiancée.

“No. absolutely not. He is not doing a press conference! Pepper look at him, he’s the human embodiment of anxiety and awkwardness.”

“Hey, I resent that… But also, true…” Peter snarked to his father.

“Alright, no press conferences, but I still think it should be Peter. You’re too divisive Tony, I’m not sure many people would take your word for it.” Pepper replied, tactfully.

“Am I the only one that recalls that Peter is a secret?”

“Yes, Tony, I do recall. But I –“ She started but was cut off by Peter abruptly.

“They don’t need to hear anything from me. think about it, this isn’t about Tony Stark and Peter Parker, this is about Tony Stark and Spider-Man!” He burst out.

Tony and Pepper were quiet for a few moments, pondering the idea.

“Spider-man is a mystery, he can admit to being my Son without really giving anything away… You gotta admit Pep, it’s kind of genius.” Tony said, impressed. He reached across and ruffled Peters hair affectionately.

“I think it could work… But you said no press, we're gunna need to do more then release a statement.”

A wide, toothy smile spread across Peters face.

“Well… Social media has practically replaced the traditional press –“ Peter began, attempting to sound professional.

“No. You can NOT make Spider-man a twitter Peter, we’ve talk about this.”

“Pepper, please! Look at this from an unbiased standpoint, if Dad were to follow the account and share the tweets the statement would reach millions! And it’s a fact that people - especially millennials - relate to tweets more than a scripted statement, it's more genuine.” He tried desperately to reason

Pepper simply shook her head, face like stone.

“Aw come on! Dad is allowed to have his own Twitter!” he tried, looking to Tony for support.

“Oh no, don’t try and bring me into this. I pick my battles with Pepper and this ain’t one kid.” Tony protested, leaning back in his chair.

“Well, do either of you have a better idea?” Peter asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Silence filled the room and Peter raised his eyebrows jeeringly.

Pepper narrowed her eyes as she took in the look of satisfaction that had settled over Peter's face.

“Peter, look me in the eye and repeat after me: “I will not, under any circumstances, make a twitter account for Spider-Man.”” She said through gritted teeth.

“I’m sorry Pepper, but I must not tell lies.”

* * *

**Spidey-Man** **@SpiderStark**

Sorry **@Peppotts** but I’m a bad bitch and you can’t stop me 🤷🏻


	2. The Most Gross

Spidey-Man

@SpiderStark

Does whatever a spider can... except lay eggs

📍 Queens, New York City 

5 Following 42 Followers

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

Before i start living my twitter fantasy™️ , there are a few things that need to be cleared up

|

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

1) Adam Sandler's seminal film 'Click' is the only film that matters

|

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

2) Bees are dying at an alarming rate

|

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

3) And... oh yeah Tony stark is my FATHER YOU WEIRDOS STOP SHIPPING US

* * *

"Hey Dad, the deed is done." Peter announced, walking up behind his Father who was sitting hunched over his work bench.

"_The deed is done?_ I'm sorry, did you assassinate someone?" Tony scoffed, spinning around in his chair to face the Boy.

"Uh, no... But that would be exactly how I would tell you if I had, so nice one." Peter said, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket and opening up Twitter.

"I meant that I made the Spider-Man account and explained the situation. Now you need to do your thing and retweet me so that people actually see it Mr 'I have more followers then god'." He continued, handing the cell phone over to Tony. 

Tony scanned his eyes over the phone in his hand, ignoring the cracks in the screen - there was no point complaining about them, with Peters extra curricular activities its was an achievement if he made it a week with a phone intact - and read the kids tweets with a groan. 

"I knew you were going to go against Pepper, stick it to the man and all that, but I thought you were at least going to do a good job Peter!"

"You know some Parents are actually nice to their children, you're stifling me with your negativity." 

"I'd be nice to you if you didn't bring the wrath of Pepper Potts down on us, you know it's me that she yells at right? Your poor innocent Dad, taking the hell fire for you." Tony replied, handing the phone back to his son before crossing his arms over his chest.

Peter let out an exaggerated sigh, pocketing his cell phone.

"Fine, I'll channel my inner PR agent and work some magic. Don't say I never do anything for you." He relented, perching himself on the work bench beside his Father.

"What a kind and generous Son I've raised." Tony deadpanned.

"I'm just kidding, Dad, you know that right?" Peter said, nudging Tony with his knee gently. Tony smiled up at the Boy, amused that Peter was worried he'd upset him.

"I know Peter pan, don't worry." Peter blushed at the use of his childhood nickname.

"Shhh, I'm crafting a tweet." He admonished, hiding his red face behind his cellphone.

Tony laughed softly, squeezing his sons knee once before pulling up Peters Twitter account on his holoscreen and clicking 'Follow'.

* * *

🔁 **@IamIronMan retweeted**

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

Allow me to be completely serious for a moment. There has been a lot of rumours and speculation going around about the

relationship between Tony Stark and myself due to a video that has been grossly misinterpreted (1/4)

|

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

I'm just going to clear up those misinterpretations. Tony Stark is my Dad, i'm his Son. 

That video shows a moment of genuine parental concern for me from my Father, nothing sinister going on here folks. (2/4)

|

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

I know this will come as a big surprise to most people, and ideally we would have kept this secret

a little longer but i can't stand by while people slander my Dad. (3/4)

|

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

more to the point its THE MOST GROSS. like ive reached levels of embarrassment that no mere mortal could withstand 

so if we could nip that in the bud it would be lit. (4/4)

💬900 🔃42.5k 💙68k

**Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**

**@SpiderStark** Proud of you kid, ill rate this one a solid B+ ✌🏽

|

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

Retweet the other tweets you coward

|

**Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**

|

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

You: I'm misrepresented by the media as a narcissistic person

also you: literally uses yourself as a reaction gif

|

**Pepper Potts☑️ |@Peppotts**

Wow, how sad it would be if the last two Starks were to be snuffed out in one day... Tragic. #GetOffTwitter

|

**Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**

@SpiderStark abort mission!

* * *

**Trending Worldwide: **

**Tony Stark**

**Spider-Man**

**SuperFamily**

**captain ameriBRUH |@trashstan**

I just... cant believe the sneakiness of it all! i need to know everything and i need to know it now 🕵🏽♀️ **#SuperFamily**

**Judas no | @doctorwhy**

remember when all y'all thought Tony and Spidey were together ** 😂 😂 😂 #SuperFamily**

** **

** |**

** Not the Bees! |@Novanova**

** @doctorwhy **here i was thinking the Ringling Bros had shut down **😂 😂 **

**Emilyjay |@Oldgregg**

I never pictured Tony Stark as a father, and now i've seen the light and i want him to adopt me **#TonyStarkBeMyDad**

**ja'mie |@privateschoolgurl**

**@Peppotts **has such big dick energy in the sense that she just made two literal superheroes shit their pants with a single tweet 😩 👌

* * *

Peter and Tony found themselves back at the dreaded conference table, sitting opposite an exasperated Pepper Potts.

Nothing good ever came from finding yourself in this position. 

"I don't know what I expected,"

"I don’t even know why I'm mad because I _knew_ you were going to do something dumb. Yet here I am." Pepper sighed.

"Don’t be mad Pepper! It's not that bad, I promise." Peter agonized.

"I'm not mad, I'm disa-"

"NO! Don't say disappointed, Pepper I refuse to live in this cliché soap opera." Tony cut in, blocking his ears like a child.

"Fine. I won’t say it, but you both know I’m thinking it." 

"Cats out of the bag now, we can’t try and force it back in... That being said, I'm going to give you my blessing to keep the account, Peter. But I’ll be watching." She replied, ominously. 

"Yes! Pepper thank you so much, you won’t regret this!" Peter rejoiced, jumping out of his seat to cross the table and hug his Fathers fiancé.

"I can almost guarantee that we will regret this at least 3 times a week. " Tony snarked.

"But, you two are not getting off scott free. I reserve the right to schedule interviews and appearances, if you want to be out in the world as Spider-Man and Tony's Son then People will want to know more. we're going to control how much more they get." Pepper interjected before Peter could get too excited.

Peters enthusiasm wilted slightly but he was still on cloud nine.

"I don't even care, I'll do it!"

"You say that now kid, wait till people start demanding baby pictures." Tony quipped with a cruel smile.

Peter froze, horrified.

"Dad no, promise me you won’t."

_ "I'm sorry Peter, but I must not tell lies." _

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as an australian do you guys understand how difficult it was for me to write 'cellphone' in stead of 'mobile phone'  
cause it was difficult and felt all kinds of wrong
> 
> also THANK YOU, thank you all for the lovely comments and kudos its rad guys! dont mind me if it takes me a while to reply to comments but i work full time and im a lazy bitch
> 
> next update will take longer as im super busy for the next week, but dont give up on me :)


	3. Hey Look At Me I Successfully Procreated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is cute, Peter is embarrassed and twitter is mclovin' it ™️

**Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan **

I was going to do one of those 'Hey look at me I successfully procreated and here's the proof' posts, but my kid is Spider-Man and his defining facial feature is spandex

|

**Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan **

So, here's a picture of me and a puppy. it's literally the same thing 💁🏻

Tony smirked as he pressed post, sat back on the couch, and waited. 

He knew Peter had notifications on for his tweets, sweet kid, and soon enough he would pick up his cellphone, see that his Dad had tweeted and Tony would get to enjoy that patented Peter pout that the kid had been perfecting since age 3.

Tony knew he wouldn't have to wait long, they were watching forensic files and the episode was almost over so shortly Peter would be taking the time between episodes to check his phone.

"Honestly these killers are so dumb, who accidentally leaves their monogrammed lighter at the scene of the crime!?" Peter muttered as the credits rolled, shaking his head at the stupidity as he picked up his phone. 

Tony watched eagerly as Peters eye briefly flicked to his Father, curious as to what Tony could have been tweeting about as they watched TV. Then sure enough, the Boys lips thinned into a tight line, his brow furrowed and his nose crinkled just the way Tony knew they would.

Tony lived for this, embarrassing your kid was like crack for responsible adults, and you better believe Tony was doing his best impression of one of those.

"Oh god why... If I were a Dog, I sure as hell would not be a _Pomeranian_! It's like you don't know me at all." He groaned indignantly, looking up from his phone screen to glare at his Father.

Tony threw his head back and laughed.

"I know you've got that whole Cocker Spaniel, possibly even Begal vibe - yeah, I'm gunna call it a vibe - going on, but I don't actually have a picture of myself with every breed of dog, so you'll just have to suck it up pup." He replied, smiling toothily at his Son. Peter accepted this with the grace of any embarrassed teenage, buy throwing a cushion directly at Tonys head with incredible force and accuracy

"And another thing, I know you probably don't recall, but the 90's happened and it was_ \- _and I cannot stress this enough -_ gross. _but I don't think anyone had doubts that you successfully procreated.Frankly I'm shocked that I'm an only child." 

"Frankly I'm shocked that my only child would give me sass when I literally gave you life." Tony gasped in mock offence

"You can't just pull the 'I'm the reason you exist' card all willy nilly like that!" Peter complained.

Behind them, the elevator opened and closed, the sound of high heeled steps echoed through the penthouse.

"Actually Pete, I have it on good authority that I can do whatever I want. Right Pep?" Told remarked smiling up at his fiancee as she rounded the corner and entered the living room.

"Absolutely not." Pepper replied, taking a seat next to Tony, slipping her heels off and laying her legs in his lap.

"Lies and slander, you'll be hearing from my lawyers." 

"What are you two bickering about this time?" She asked.

"Dad is trying to humiliate me on Twitter!" Peter explained, tossing his phone to Pepper for her to see.

"This is exactly what i was trying to avoid, twitter is just another platform for you two to rile each other up! Except now it's for the public to see." Pepper sighed, annoyance creeping into her voice.

"This was a bad idea, I said from the beginning that this was a bad idea! Give me one good reason why I should let this continue?" She ranted, looking back and forth between the two stark men before her. Peters face paled, unused to having Peppers anger directed at him. Tony, on the other hand, was completely used to it and simply smiled and tapped peters phone that was still sitting in Peppers hand.

All traces of annoyance quickly disappeared when she actually read the tweets.

"Oh...That's actually very cute Tony." she said softly, cheeks flushing red slightly. 

"It's not cute, it's demeaning. I'm a Superhero, not a puppy!" 

"Peter, sweetheart, you are 100% a puppy. Dont fight me on this." 

Peter slumped back into the couch, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Fine...Do I get to keep my Twitter?" He asked, trying not to sound to hopeful.

Pepper mulled it over for a few moments before finally relenting.

"I suppose so... for now." 

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

Ok, everyone say thank you to **@Peppotts** for letting me keep this Twitter account!

|

** Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

... and for not murdering me and my Dad with a sharpened stiletto heel.

|

**Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**

Seriously, she could have done it. I saw intent in her eyes

**Jonah |@BallsOntheFloor**

Thank you **@Peppotts**! You're doing gods work letting spidey have twitter **#godblessspiderman**

**webbster 🕸 |@strawberrykisses**

**@Peppotts**

** **

** |**

** Ms. keisha |@sameparts**

** @strawberrykisses @Peppotts**

** |**

** Let me make this weird |@uncomfortable**

** @Sameparts @strawberrykisses @Peppotts**

**Iron Bae🥰|@StarkStan**

nothing but mad r e s p e c t for **@Peppotts** and her reign of terror over the stark boys

|

** Pepper Potts☑️ |@Peppotts**

**@StarkStan** To be fair, the reign of terror is mostly confined to Tony, Spidey is usually an angel... This rebellious streak is a recent development.

|

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

** @Peppotts **You think I'm an angel? Thats cute mom 

**Iron Bae🥰|@StarkStan**

**@SpiderStark **You call Pepper Mom? take me out of the oven cause im DONE

|

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

** @StarkStan **only in a desperate attempt to get back in her good books. I did call her Peppy when i was a little ankle biter though!

|

**Bronson Twist |@HaveYouEver**

"Peppy Potts"

|

** Spidey-man |@SpiderStark**

Twitter in tears? My work here is done. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BRUH i wrote 90% of this in the middle of the night last night, and then this morning opened my laptop to find i had deleted the whole thing?? by accident?? so yeah of course i just sat in the shower and wondered why bad things happen to good people for like an hour - cause im an adult and i can do that now - and then rewrote it and it is... not as good as the first draft :') aint life just a kick in the teeth sometimes?


	4. Get Rekt Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spider-Man hits the big One Mil.

Spidey-Man

@SpiderStark

Does whatever a spider can... except lay eggs

📍 Queens, New York City 

**20** Following **1.1M** Followers

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

what if... **@Twitter**...verified me... haha just kidding!...

> ** Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**
> 
> ...Unless?
> 
> **Twitter****☑️**** |@Twitter**
> 
> ** @SpiderStark ** **👀**

* * *

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

Me: Celebrating 1 million followers

Dad: Immediately crushes hopes and dreams

[_video attached_ ](https://youtu.be/1czvD3aVk8Y?t=33)

Spider-Man stared at the numbers on the screen ticking steadily over, closer and closer to one million. In his hand he held his cellphone, recording the screen in front of him shakily, hands unsteady from the rush of excitement coursing through his veins.

"My dudes, I'm about to hit one million followers on twitter and in the immortal words of Dame Lizzie McGuire 'Hey now, hey now, this is what dreams are made of'." He chattered, swapping to the front facing camera to show his Spider-Man mask with a sparkly party hat perched on top of his head, the words 'ONE MILLION' scrawled messily on the hat in permanent marker.

"I think this might be my greatest achievement. That's not true at all, I literally save peoples lives on a regular basis... sometimes this little old lady buys me a churro when she see's me which is pretty lit- OH SHIT! Oh my god I cant believe i missed it! I had one job!" 

The video froze for a moment as the camera switched back to the rear camera to show that the live follower count had indeed flicked past 1,000,000.

"That was a little anticlimactic..." He mumbled awkwardly, camera back on his face.

"But heck yeah! One Milly my dudes!" he crowed, regaining some vigor as he pulled out a party blower that he attempted to blow through his mask covered mouth, which worked about as well as you would expect.

"Note to self, make mouth hole for party blower accessibility...Well, upon reflection That was a weird sentence and i wish i hadn't said it at all." Spider-Man muttered to himself, tossing the party blower over his shoulder dramatically.

Suddenly the video went dark, the lights in the roomall going out at once before the room was flooded with bright, white light. Every screen in the room showed a new follower count. every wall, ceiling and surface had the same live count projected onto them.

**'Tony Stark |@IamIronMan**

**98,763,225 followers'**

"Celebrating your first million Bub? That is just darling." A voice can be heard saying from off screen.

"Aw come on! This is my moment!" Spider-Man whined.

"I brought you into this world, fruit of my loin," Tony laughed, appearing behind Spider-Man in the video.

"All of your moments are, therefore, my moments. And I would love to take _this_ moment to warn Barack Obama that his days in the #1 spot are ending I will rule Twitter with an iron fist. Literally." He declared, wrapping one arm around his Sons shoulder, pulling him into a tight hug, using his free hand to snap the elastic string that was holding the party hat under the boys chin.

"I don't know why I bothered." Spider-Man muttered, defeated.

"Me either kiddo, but its cute that you tried."

* * *

**iridocyclitis |@nicholascagenightmare**

We dont deserve **@IamIronMan**, we never have and we never will 😂🥰

**nollsy was robbed |@fckGuySebastian**

**@IamIronMan @SpiderStark @BarackObama**

** **

**I'm the moon 🌚 |@TheMainMoon**

okay, but for real **@IamIronMan** is actually a really cute Dad! like he just?? hugs his son?? For no reason?? he just loves his spider kid?? **#dadgoals**

> **Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**
> 
> ** @TheMainMoon** cute? thats a weird way to spell embarrassing...
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️|@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark** oh kid, if you think im embarrassing now you're in for a rude awakening 

* * *

**Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**

now that my sweet, darling, child is no longer a secret its time to destroy him. get rekt son.

>   
**Panini Head |@stepupkyle**
> 
> oh my god its HAPPENING 😱 

**Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**

look at this bald little idiot

>   
**Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> Y'all think thats a cute little smile, but he's actually shitting. unbelievably rude child. 
> 
> **Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@IamIronMan** I cant believe you've done this! Do the words 'secret identity' mean nothing to you?
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark **i have 16 years of this kid, dont try me
> 
> ** **
> 
> **Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@IamIronMan **for every baby photo you post, i will post one of your mug shots.
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark** bub, you sure you wanna play this game?you're going to run out of mugshots before I run out of baby photos 
> 
> **Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@IamIronMan** ... you make a good point 

* * *

Tony, Pepper and Peter were sat around the dining table, eating their dinner and chatting about their day. At least Tony and Pepper were, Peter was comletely engrossed in his phone, not having eaten a single bite. 

"Peter! No phones at the table, come on kid." Tony scolded, leaning over the table to pluck the phone out of the boys hand.

"Hey, give that back!" Peter complained, wishing that he hadn't removed his webshotters before dinner

"What is so interesting that you're ignoring us during our family meal?" Tony asked as he peered at the screen.

Before Peter could reply, Tony let out a quiet snort as he passed the phone to Pepper.

"He's looking at all the replies to the baby photos I tweeted." 

Pepper scrolled through the tweets gleefully, laughing quietly every now and then.

"Oh, Peter you were such a gorgeous baby." she cooed, handing him back the phone. 

"I'm sure youtube will be filled with those reaction videos, reacting to the replies." she said, eating her food once more.

Peters eyes widened in excitement, practically vibrating in his seat.

"Dad! We should do a reaction video! 'Super Heroes react' we can film ourselves reading the replies!" 

Tony turned to level a glare at his fiancee.

"You see what you did? You gave him an idea." He groaned.

Pepper took a moment to contemplate the idea.

"I mean it's not a bad idea Tony, its cute."

"Don't make me do this Pepper, if you love me you wont make me do this." Tony begged.

"Make him do it Peppy!" Peter cried, fluttering his eyes at the woman. 

"You know what? I'm a grown ass Man. neither of you can make me do _anything_ ." Tony declared, crossing his arms over his chest.

Pepper raised a single eyebrow.

"Is that so?"

* * *

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

Me and the old man made a little film we like to call "Super Heroes React" (Dont @ me Fine Bro's) click the link below to watch!

[_video attached_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnedkVrgFF0)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tune in next time for 'Super Heroes react' and what im sure will be some incredible content that i currently havent thought of yet.  
ill probably be going back and changing the formatting on previous chapters now that i know how to basic things on this hellsite.
> 
> also, yes all the links will be random videos. no i wont stop.


	5. Call Me Mr Boombastic, Say Me Fantastic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super Heroes React   
A.K.A. wow that's a lot of dialogue

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

Me and the old man made a little film we like to call "Super Heroes React" (Don't @ me Fine Bro's) click the link below to watch!

[_video attached_ ](https://youtu.be/6W5pq4bIzIw?t=23)

* * *

The video opened on Tony Stark slumped on a luxurious white couch, face very unimpressed. Beside him sat Spider-man, cross legged wearing his trademark mask covering his face but otherwise dressed casually in a overly large hoodie and jeans. Spider-Man was practically vibrating in excitement, his wide smile was visible even beneath the mask.

"Hey guys! We figured we might do a little reaction video -"

"Correction,_ you_ figured. I am here against my will." Tony cut in, as if his sour face wasn't evidence enough. 

"Dad, please, you're making a scene." Spider-man laughed, elbowing the older man.

"You think this is me making a scene? I haven't even started kid." 

"Yeah okay, we get it, you're a dramatic bitch."

Tony opened his mouth to retort but spidey cut him off before he could start.

"ANYWAY! we're going to be reacting to the tweets about my baby photos that my loving Father posted on his Twitter. Do you wanna start or shall I?" Spider-Man announced, pulling out his phone so he could bring up his list of tweets.

"I'll start, I have the perfect tweet to highlight that this was a terrible idea." Tony replied before clearing his throat.

"Now, this one is no F. Scott Fitzgerald but I think their use of imagery is truly inspiring,"

"'**One look at baby Spider-Man and I swear to God I was lactating like nobody's business.**' That came from user @MrShroomtastic who upon further investigation, is a 23 year old man." Tony read, staring at his son with a single eyebrow raised.

"There's a lot to unpack in that one..." Spidey replied with an awkward laugh.

"Is it the lactating or the user name that's tickling your funny bone?"

"Is the user name particularly funny?" Spider-Man remarked.

"MrShroomtastic! You know, like Mr Boombastic?...Shaggy? Mr lover lover? oh my god... Call me Mr Boombastic, Say me fantastic?" Tony asked, getting progressively more desperate the longer his son continued to look on without a hint of recognition.

"Those are certainly all words... I think?" 

"Bub, I really failed you as a Father..." Tony Lamented.

"I thought you picked that one because you thought I would be freaked out by the thought of a man breastfeeding me, but really you just wanted to talk about your love for Mr Boombastic, whoever he may be."

"Are you freaked out by the thought of a man breast feeding you?."

"Oh yes, absolutely." The younger Man confirmed, shuddering dramatically towards the camera.

"Alright kid, your turn I Guess."

Spider-man perked up as he scrolled through his phone for a moment.

"Okay, this one is from @StarkStan - i see her on twitter a lot - she said '**Look at Tony Stark calling his Baby son an idiot, as if he isn't the softest Dad on the face of the planet. you're not fooling anyone Iron Man**'." He read, amused. 

Tony scoffed, deeply offended.

"Is this libel or slander? I can never remember the distinction but this is definitely defamatory." He demanded.

"Libel, definitely libel. He doesnt love me at all." Spidey replied, nodding his head seriously.

"Hey, only i'm allowed to joke about me not loving you."

"Oh sorry, my bad."

"This next one is actually quite funny," Tony said with a small smile as he read the tweet off of his phone. 

"**because the only pictures we have of Spider-Man's actual face are baby pictures, I can't help but imagine thats its a crime fighting baby swinging around New York.**"

Spider-Man collapsed against tony, laughing hysterically.

"Imagine me taking off my mask and its my baby head attached to my grown up body!" He giggled.

"Well, i've seen your grown up face and let me tell all the viewers at home that that cute little baby face would be a marked improvement."

"How dare you, i'm perfectly average looking!"

"_Average_? You want people to think that _I_ created an _average_ looking child?" Tony growled, offended.

"You just said I'd look better if i had the head of a baby!" Spider-Man cried, the eyes of his mask narrowing in indignation. 

"Anyone would look better if they had your baby face! You were a heartbreakingly cute baby."

"Oh, that was supposed to be a compliment? It's so hard to tell sometimes."

Tony laughed softly as he wrapped an arm around his sons shoulder, giving him a tight squeeze before releasing him.

"Are we done now? Are the people entertained?" He asked.

"Just a couple more, please?" Spidey asked, using his best manners.

"Sure thing kiddo." 

"This one is from user @StarSpangledPan, and it's a dank meme."

The video cut to an image.

"I don't know about you Dad, but this is what I consider this to be top tier comedy." 

"I've seen this probably 20 times now, and I still can't decide whether it makes me want to laugh or cry." Tony said, chuckling as he grabbed his Sons cell phone to examine the photo again.

"Why would it make you want to cry!? It's hilarious!"

"Well, not to be a debbie downer but this is like a literal image of what it's like for me, seeing my baby going out doing dangerous shit like you do." Tony explained awkwardly, deliberately not looking towards the camera. 

"I'm not a baby anymore, and I have super powers now!" Spider-Man reminded him gently.

"I know that logically, but sometimes when I close my eyes and think of you, I still see my little baby boy."

"Oh..." The young Man murmured softly, scooching over next to his Father so that there shoulders and thighs were pressed together.

"Well... this got kinda dark." Tony said after a few beats of silence.

"Yeah, this is some serious Dr. Phil shit." Spidey agreed, nodding his head.

"Stop cussing you little shit."

"Pot, kettle." 

"I would say do as I say not as I do, but that never seems to work out with us." Tony laughed, raising a hand to ruffle his sons hair and dropping it again when he remembered he was wearing the mask.

"Well, you got anything else?" He asked trying to lead them to a close

"Hmm, I can summarize the rest for you if you like." Spider-Man offered.

"Go for it kid, short and sweet."

"I'd say its 20% people gushing over how utterly adorable I am, 50% people wanting you to adopt them and a disgusting 30% offering to call you Daddy."

"I'd like to congratulate that 30% for having impeccable taste." Tony smirked, winking directly into the camera lense.

"OKAY IT'S TIME TO END MY SUFFERING!" Spidey yelled, jumping up and walking towards the camera. 

As Spider-Man's body got closer to the camera, milliseconds before the video ended an amused Tony Stark could be heard, laughing, as he said:

"Big mood."

* * *

**Spider-Hoe |@IronBitch**

Spider-Man not understanding musical references is my sexuality. **#Mrwhomtastic?**

**coriolANUS |@coriolanus**

**@SpideyStark **Average looking? You want us to believe that you, the son of Tony Stark, is AVERAGE LOOKING? 

> **Vince Noir |@Rocknrollstar**
> 
> ** **

**Iron Bae🥰|@StarkStan**

THeY rEad MY TweET!! also, anyone notice that spidey was wearing an MIT hoodie? What's the bet that's Tonys old college hoodie???

**Spidey-Man |@SpiderStark**

I still to this day have no idea who Mr. Boombastic is, but I sure hope he's having a nice day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to god I had no intention of going off on a random Shaggy tangent but sometimes faint memories of the 90's just overtake me and I end up listening to Boombastic on loop for 3 hours and the thought of Tony Stark liking weird 90's one hit wonders just really gives me immense joy.


	6. verified? spider-man? less likely than you'd think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please, won't someone just verify spider-man?

"How Long did it take for you to be verified on twitter? A couple of weeks?" Peter asked, spinning idly on his stool, phone in hand.

"Pepper set up my Twitter, I think I was verified the moment she hit create account. Are you still whining about this? I thought we moved past you're need for validation from cesspool social media platforms?" Tony replied, looking up briefly from the paperwork that had been piling up on one of his desks for a considerable amount of time.

"I have moved on! I dont need some blue tick next to my name to feel fulfilled..." 

Tony raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"I have! Verification is just another way for the corporations to divide the people..."

"...I just think its RUDE that they verified the guy that dresses up as me and screams 'It's wednesday my dudes' but they won't verify me!"

"Sounds like you've really moved on kiddo." 

"It's the principal of the matter. _I don't care_, but if they gave him a tick they need to give me a tick. Equality for all spider people."

"By that notion, all the people dressed as spider-man in time square should be verified on twitter too? even the mean ones that yell at tourists for not tipping them to take photos with them?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if they already were verified, that seems to be Twitters modus operandi." Pete muttered, sullenly.

"Peter, fruit of my loins, please stop obsessing over this. I'm begging you, i'll have your name legally changed to have a blue tick next to it if you just please STOP." Tony begged, collapsing over his pile of paperwork dramatically.

"Like when Prince changed his name to a symbol!?"

"Yes. Exactly like that."

"I'm changing my username to 'the artist formerly known as Spider-man'!" The young boy exclaimed, smiling so wide tony was almost worried the kids face would crack.

"Of course you are. I don't know what I expected."

* * *

The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'

@SpiderStark

Does whatever a spider can... except lay eggs

📍 Queens, New York City 

15 Following 4M Followers

**The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'|@Spider-Stark**

My new username is what i would like to be addressed as from this moment onwards. the full title. Please respect this. 😇

> **Spoder-mon|@spoodes**
> 
> **@SpiderStark** Spidey?
> 
> **The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'|@Spider-Stark**
> 
> **@spoodes** what did i LITERALLY JUST SAY? 
> 
> **Spoder-mon|@spoodes**
> 
> **@SpiderStark** SORRY! The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'?
> 
> **The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'|@Spider-Stark**
> 
> **@spoodes **thank you. This is who I am now. 
> 
> **your moms a hoe|@wheeze**
> 
> **@SpiderStark **incredible.

* * *

** **

Tony Stark**☑️ **

@IamIronMan

The Man. The Myth. The Maverick.

📍 New York City

10 Following 99M Followers

**Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**

I'd like to publically distance myself from the nightmare that is my Son. I would like a refund, or at the very least an exchange for an item of equal or lesser value.

> **Pepper Potts☑️|@Peppotts**
> 
> **@IamIronMan **Unfortunately we can only refund if the item is returned in full working condition, and it seems like this kid is broken. 
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@Peppotts **Unbelievable. always read the fine print before committing to a large purchase kids.
> 
> **The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'|@Spider-Stark**
> 
> **@IamIronMan @Peppotts **I'M NOT BROKEN! I'M JUST NOT VERIFIED!
> 
> **Pepper Potts☑️|@Peppotts**
> 
> **@IamIronMan **See? Broken.

* * *

* * *

It was damn near 2am when Tony stark was rudely awoken from his slumber by an intense white light shining into his face. His eyes blinked open and closed rapidly as he tried to adjust to the sudden bright that was currently assaulting him. when he could finally hold his eyes open for more then 0.2 seconds at a time he was only slightly shocked to find his son hanging upside down from a web above the bed, holding out his phone screen for his Father to see

"Dad! It's happening! I'm verified!" He whispered - although not quietly enough it would seem as Pepper rolled over next to him jamming a pillow over her head with groan.

"Peter," Tony said through gritted teeth.

"If you don't get out of our room by the count of three, im going to buy out Twitter all together and ban you for life." He finished, plucking Peters phone from his outstretched hand and stuffing it under his pillow.

"But Dad-" 

"One,"

"This isn't-"

"Two," 

"Okay! I'm going! Can I please have my phone back? The People need to know of this auspicious occasion!" 

"You can have it in the morning."

Peter looked like he was going to argue.

"Peter Stark! Go. To. Sleep." Tony scolded, menacingly as one cold scold a teenager while whispering.

Peter huffed loudly, but scuttled along the ceiling towards the bedroom door nonetheless, knowing when he was beat. when the bedroom door closed behind him tony flopped back down onto his pillow, rubbing his tired eyes with a small smile on his face.

"I'm guessing that was your doing?" Pepper asked, sleepily. 

"No comment."

* * *

The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️

@SpiderStark

Does whatever a spider can... except lay eggs

📍 Queens, New York City 

15 Following 4M Followers

****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**

I'd like to thank **@Twitter** for verifying me! its what God would want

> **Twitter☑️ |@Twitter**
> 
> Your Dad threatened to redirect our web address to this [(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uj1ykZWtPYI) if we didn't. 
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@IamIronMan **?????
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@Twitter** Snitches get stitches.
> 
> **Twitter☑️ |@Twitter**
> 
> **@Peppotts** Come get your man, hes scaring the interns
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️|@SpiderStark**
> 
> Wow **@Twitter** running straight to Pepper. Pathetic. Myspace would never. 
> 
> **Pepper Potts☑️|@Peppotts**
> 
> **@IamIronMan** stop terrorising twitter. **@Twitter** give the spider boy two blue ticks. Cowards. 
> 
> **Twitter☑️|@Twitter**
> 
> Yes Ma'am.

* * *

****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️☑️|@SpiderStark**

ohmygod. this is the best day of my life. 

****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️☑️|@SpiderStark**

some of ya'll dont have a terrifying CEO step mom and it shows, literally, none of you have TWO BLUE TICKS #GodOfTwitter

**Panini Head |@stepupkyle**

wow, can you believe that Spider-Man owns Twitter now. What a time to be alive?

> **Iron Bae🥰|@StarkStan**
> 
> His name is The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'! show some respect for our lord and saviour.

**Kath Day Knight🐨|@differentunusual**

Just when I think i've fianlly accepted that Tony Stark is just an average dad, he pulls this stunt and proves that he is in fact #1 dad. I love him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look, i wont defend myself here. its been a while. i have no excuse other then REAL LAZY. but i work full time and sometime (most of the time) ya gurl just wants to read wholesome irondad fanfic rather then write it. but i'll try to be better from here on out
> 
> also i havent proof read this at all, so any mistakes are an artistic choice and should be viewed as such
> 
> I LOVE AND APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU FOR LEAVING A COMMENT OR KUDOS ya'll are gr8


	7. The Beyonce of Superheroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spidey gets a lil too big for his britches.

** ** ** **

The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️**☑️**

@SpiderStark

Does whatever a spider can... except lay eggs

📍 Queens, New York City 

23 Following 6.3M Followers

****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️☑️|@SpiderStark**

Some people are born with 2 blue tick, some achieve 2 blue ticks and others have 2 blue ticks thrust upon them. Lol jk its just me.

> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark **Really? 
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️☑️|@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@IamIronMan** I am the Beyonce of superheroes. Heavy is the head that wears the crown :(
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark **And they call me a Diva. You are not Beyonce, you are Michelle at best.
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️☑️|@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@IamIronMan**
> 
> ** **
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark **Truth hurts bub 🤷🏻♀️

****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️☑️|@SpiderStark**

Hey alexa how do you give yourself up for adoption?

> **ignorant slut✨|@dunderbutt**
> 
> ...I mean if Spidey wants out, I would LOVE to apply for the role of 'snarky yet loved child'... Where can i send my resume?
> 
> **Spider-Hoe |@IronBitch**
> 
> **@dunderbutt **Ditto! I want Tony Stark to read my report card and give me a disappointed but still affectionate pat on the back
>
>> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️☑️|@SpiderStark**
>> 
>> **@dunderbutt @IronBitch **Hey! back off, there can only be one snarky yet loveable illegitimate child in the Stark family.
>> 
>> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
>> 
>> **@SpiderStark ***Only illegitimate child _that_ _you know of_. 😏
>> 
>> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️☑️|@SpiderStark**
>> 
>> **@IamIronMan **... Don't speak to me.
>> 
>> ** **
> 
> * * *
> 
> ** **
> 
> Pepper Potts☑️
> 
> @Peppotts
> 
> CEO, Part time superhero wrangler, full time Goddess.
> 
> **📍 New York City**
> 
> 33 Following 63M Followers
> 
> **Pepper Potts☑️|@Peppotts**
> 
> "Let Spider-Man have a Twitter Account" they said, "It will be fine, he's a responsible person" they said.
> 
> Fools. We are all Fools. 
>
>> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️☑️|@SpiderStark**
>> 
>> **@Peppotts **
>> 
>> ** **
>>
>>> **Pepper Potts☑️|@Peppotts**
>>> 
>>> I want you to know, **@SpiderStark**, that you brought this on yourself.
>>> 
>>> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️☑️|@SpiderStark**
>>> 
>>> **@Peppotts **Don't do anything rash peppy...
>>> 
>>> **Pepper Potts☑️|@Peppotts**
>>> 
>>> **@Twitter **Remove the tick.
>>> 
>>> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
>>> 
>>> **@Peppotts @SpideyStark **
>>> 
>>> ** **
>>> 
>>> **Twitter☑️|@Twitter**
>>> 
>>> **@Peppotts **Post haste, Ma'am.
>> 
>> * * *
>> 
>> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️|@SpiderStark**
>> 
>> I have been betrayed by those i trusted the most. hurt beyond belief.
>> 
>> * * *
>> 
>> "Please Pepper! Have pity on me, I'm nothing without that extra blue tick!" Peter begged, clinging to Peppers arm as she walked towards the living room.
>> 
>> Pepper laughed as shes pulled her arm free, batting the teenager away wither her hand.
>> 
>> "Petey, If you're nothing without the blue ticks then you should'nt have them." She replied sagely.
>> 
>> "Oh gross, you can't use that quote against me like that! that was a vulnerable time in my life." 
>> 
>> "Come on Pete, You had to have known you weren't going to keep them forever, it was just a joke." Pepper said as she sat down on the couch next to Tony.
>> 
>> "This isn't a joke to me! it was my pride and joy, I loved those ticks like they were my children!"
>> 
>> "Buddy, I Know you're my Son and this is a genetic trait, but you are being extra dramatic tonight. like Tommy Wiseau level dramatic..." Tony smirked, watching as Peter paced back and forth.
>> 
>> "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART PEPPER!" He yelled, throwing his arms up in mock anguish before falling to his knees before his Father's fiance.
>> 
>> "Pleeeease Peppy? Pretty please can I have my ticks back?" He tried one last time, tilting his head to the side with big, begging eyes.
>> 
>> "Peter, get off the floor its so unbecoming. Starks never beg." Tony groaned, poking his son in the side with his sick covered foot.
>> 
>> "This is hardly the most unbecoming thing I've ever done Dad, remember the hello kitty PJ's?"
>> 
>> "God you're right, carry on."
>> 
>> "No, no more begging. Peter you're not getting the tick back, and thats my last word on it. But, I do feel a little bit bad so... I'll give you permission to one thing that i would normally disapprove of on Twitter. One thing Peter, And it cant be showing your face or anything equally as stupid as that." Pepper conceded.
>> 
>> Peter seemed to ponder this idea for a few moments before a small smirk appeared on his face.
>> 
>> "Deal accepted." 
>> 
>> * * *
>> 
>> **Iron Bae🥰|@StarkStan**
>> 
>> Rest in Peace **@SpiderStark**'s 2nd blue tick. taken from us too soon, you will be missed :'(
>>
>>> **Kath Day Knight🐨|@differentunusual**
>>> 
>>> **@StarkStan @SpiderStark**
>>> 
>>> ** **
>>> 
>>> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️|@SpiderStark**
>>> 
>>> **@StarkStan @differentunusual** Rest assured, my blue ticks will be avenged. I will have my revenge!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ha lol hey.   
I'm just gunna post this and pretend that it didnt take me like 7 dog years to post this :')  
I completely forgot how to even do half the formatting stuff involved in writing this so i'm just winging it!   
So I had the 'Rona for a while and instead of spending all the time i was sick as a dog writing like a productive person would, i just watched criminal minds and harry potter for 2 weeks, but im healthy again with a new lease on life (lol thats a lie) so im gunna try and update this more often now. maybe... ;)


	8. You're only going to regret this a little bit Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions are asked, Elon Musk is summoned, self deprecating Taylor Swift and the illustrious entrance of one James Rhodes.

The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️

**@SpiderStark**

Does whatever a spider can... except lay eggs

📍 Queens, New York City 

**15 Following 7.3M Followers**

****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**

In loving memory of my lost blue tick, let's do a little Q&A, a little Ask me Anything! It's what the blue tick would have wanted :(

****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**

Plus, it will have the added bonus of making Pepper exceedingly angry with me, but with no outlet to express that anger :)

> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark **Absolutely not. Pepper can't say no but I sure can.
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@IamIronMan **You're not even my real Dad!
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark **Literally could not be more wrong.
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@IamIronMan **Something an imposter would say **#WhoIsMyRealFather**
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark **Don't make me call **@DrPhil**, We'll do the paternity test live on air you little shit
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@IamIronMan **You say that like its a threat, when in actual fact, it would be a dream come true and lets do it immediately.
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark **You don't deserve **@DrPhil**.
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@IamIronMan **Maybe you are my Dad, full of empty promises and disappointment.
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark **:(
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@IamIronMan **
> 
> ** **
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark **:(
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@IamIronMan **I'm sorry Dad, please don't be sad 
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark **:)
> 
> **War Machine Rox |@JamesRhodes**
> 
> **@IamIronMan @SpiderStark **Jesus. Get off the internet

****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**

Well well well, If it isn't Uncle Rhodey, coming to take his slice of the Stark family on Twitter pie.

> **War Machine Rox |@JamesRhodes**
> 
> **@SpiderStark **I'm just here for the clout
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@JamesRhodes @SpiderStark **You're here because my bouncing baby boy said you should get on Twitter. Don't lie to the internet Sugar Plum.
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@JamesRhodes **Aw!

**War Machine Rox |@JamesRhodes**

Why couldn't I have been roommates with Elon Musk or something instead of **@IamIronMan**. I would get called out waaaaay less.

> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@JamesRhodes **I too, often wish I was the illicit love child of Elon musk instead
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@JamesRhodes @SpiderStark **Wow. I guess I'll go fuck myself then.
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@Peppotts **Dad said the fuck word! 
> 
> **Pepper Potts☑️|@Peppotts**
> 
> **@SpiderStark @IamIronMan **Elon would _never_.

**Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**

**@ElonMusk **Hey musk, want a new family? Mine are traitorous scum.

> **Elon Musk☑️|@ElonMusk**
> 
> **@IamIronMan **Yes.
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@ElonMusk**... Papa?
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> Wait! this is a ploy isn't it!? Distract me with** @ElonMusk **and i'll forget about my Q&A. Nice try** @IamIronMan **
> 
> ** **

* * *

"I'm not saying that I can't stop you from doing this dumb Q&A, because I could. I could totally stop you." Tony groused.

"Is this a really weird way of saying that you're _not_ going to stop me?" Peter asked, slightly confused.

"No! I'm just saying... that I could stop you! I've been known to actually parent you from time to time, now could be one of those times."

"Um... Is now one of those times? Because I feel like this 'barely parenting me' thing has been working really well for us." 

Tony stared at his Son for an extended time, eyes slowly narrowing as he tried to predict what the outcome of this stupid stunt was going to be.

"No... Its not one of those times. But I'm watching you kid, you screw this up and you can bet your bottom dollar that next time I'm gunna be in full Responsible Dad mode and shut your butt down." 

"So...Just to clarify, I can do the Q&A?" Peter said slowly, eyes wide.

"Yes. I thought I made that pretty clear, what was confusing about this conversation?" Tony replied with a grin as he watched his sons face light up.

Peter laughed, almost in disbelief, before wrapping his arms around Tony's arso and lifting him up in a crushing hug.

"Put me down! I'm the adult here and this is so unbecoming." 

"Yes! You're only going to regret this a little bit dad, I promise!" Peter exclaimed, dropping his Dad back onto his feet and rushing off to his bedroom.

Tony Stood and watched him leave, shaking his head softly.

"'_You're only going to regret this a little bit Dad_'" Tony mimicked with a grimace. 

"How that kid rescues people and puts them at ease, I will never know."

* * *

The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'☑️

**@SpiderStark**

Does whatever a spider can... except lay eggs

📍 Queens, New York City 

**15 Following 7.3M Followers**

****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**

Alright! The first Ever 'Ask Spider-Man' is official on, send me some burning questions with **#AskSpidey**

* * *

**Back Rolls? |@VenusDeMilo**

Face reveal? **#AskSpidey**

> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@VenusDeMilo **It's like you want this to get shut down! I'll make it clear, there will be no pictures, no names, no ages and most of all, no scubs. 

* * *

**Panini Head |@stepupkyle**

describing what It's like having **@IamIronMan** as a Dad in one GIF **#AskSpidey**

> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@stepupkyle**

* * *

**Iron Bae🥰|@StarkStan**

Do your webs come out of your body??? **#AskSpidey #IsThatAnOffensiveQuestion?**

> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@StarkStan **God no. That would be yucky... They come out of web shooters that I made :) I'm a clever boy!
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@StarkStan @SpiderStark **And modest too.

* * *

**Detective Popcorn🕵🏽|@mightywhore**

Have the other Avengers met you? Was it fully sick? **#AskSpidey**

> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@mightywhore **I've met some of them, but only as Spider-Man. As far as I know they found out about me and Tony at the same time as you guys. And yes, it was the coolest and I totally embarrassed myself :)

* * *

**Judas no | @doctorwhy**

I'm gunna assume that your fancy ass Spider-Man suit has some kind of music playing capabilities, so my question is - and it is a_ very_ important question: whats your go to music for swinging around NYC? answer very carefully, I will be judging you soley off of this answer. **#AskSpidey**

> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@doctorwhy **...
> 
> ** **
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@doctorwhy **Oh you know... AC/DC... Led Zeppelin... The Beatles... Other respectable artists of that ilk...
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark 🤨**
> 
> ** **
> 
> **Judas no | @doctorwhy**
> 
> **@IamIronMan @SpiderStark **Oh god... It's bad isn't it? 
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@doctorwhy **I dont have to sit here and defend my taste in music! I'm allowed to like what I like! So what if what i like is the dulcet tones of Taylor Swift???? 
>
>> **Judas no | @doctorwhy**
>> 
>> **@SpiderStark**
>> 
>> ** **
>> 
>> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
>> 
>> **@SpiderStark**
>> 
>> ** **
>> 
>> **Taylor Swift☑️ |@TaylorSwift13**
>> 
>> **@SpiderStark **
>> 
>> ** **
> 
> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@doctorwhy @IamIronMan @TaylorSwift13**

* * *

****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**

Ill answer one more question, then I'm going to cry because honestly feeling so attacked right now

* * *

**Vince Noir |@Rocknrollstar**

**@SpiderStark **Have you always known that Tony Stark was your Father? or was it a recent surprise? **#AskSpidey**

> ****The Artist Formerly Known as 'Spider-Man'**☑️ |@SpiderStark**
> 
> **@Rocknrollstar **I've known pretty much my whole life! I mean I didn't know that he was *Tony Stark* but he was never absent from my life. I will say that his parenting style is... unconventional... so it was best to keep me on the downlow ;)
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@SpiderStark **you say I was an 'unconventional' Dad, I say the correct phrasing would be 'Cool' Dad.
> 
> **War Machine Rox |@JamesRhodes**
> 
> **@IamIronMan @SpiderStark **As the only person that has been around since the very beginning of Tony's Parenting endeavours, I would like to correct you both. Tonys Parenting style was 'Enthusiastic yet dangerous'
> 
> **Tony Stark☑️ |@IamIronMan**
> 
> **@JamesRhodes @SpiderStark **'Enthusiastic yet dangerous'

* * *

"See Pepper, I made it through the whole Q&A without letting out any secrets!" Peter bragged, batting his eyes at Pepper.

"I admit... It could have gone a lot worse, although, I do have to say that I'm surprised that your not more excited about Taylor Swift tweeting you."

"Taylor swift tweeted me!?" The young man exclaimed, shocked.

"You didnt notice? You tagged her in your reply?"

"I was in the middle of a musical mental breakdown! She could have walked in and Slapped me in the face and I wouldn't have noticed!"

"Peter I worry about you, I really, truly do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone comes for me, i actually have a very soft spot in my cold dead heart for Taylor swift and my making fun of her comes from a place of love. 
> 
> I dunno what i wanna do in this fic next... something with the avengers... something with a talk show? a youtube interview? I dunno i should never be the brains of any operation.  
feel free to offer some suggestion. but be aware that im australian so im not all that familiar with some American pop culture

**Author's Note:**

> hey so i have no idea how to work this hell site, so let me know if i've just done this completely wrong and ill ...attempt... to fix it


End file.
